Good story. I’m guessing this isn’t an unusual occurrence by how he’s already tense before he even answers the phone. Is she making a powerplay in his weekend access, or is she getting revenge for whatever transpired in their relationship/marriage? Such a short piece that brings so many questions.
@Eric – so glad you are left asking questions about what led to this. That’s what I was aiming for, trying to capture the moment of disappointment while letting the reader decide just who is to blame here, if anybody. Also, it highlights that the real loser here is the child.
@PJ – Thanks. Was hoping to tug on the heart strings with this one.
At the end you say you hoped we enjoyed it. It’s hard to enjoy a father’s hopes set up and then dashed, especially for something as simple as a child with his child. But it was good work, read well and tight in its mere 30-40 seconds. Thank you for sharing, and I hope you never receive such a call.
Probably a bad choice of words. Seems the exercise brought out the melancholy in those of us writing to the prompt. I meant I hope people enjoy the writing, not the narrator’s plight.
I have friends who experience this same thing month after month, and you nailed the emotion. It’s hard to remain civil, but I appreciate your MC’s restraint from lashing out… but then maybe he does
11 Responses to Weekend Access – #fridayflash
Good story. I’m guessing this isn’t an unusual occurrence by how he’s already tense before he even answers the phone. Is she making a powerplay in his weekend access, or is she getting revenge for whatever transpired in their relationship/marriage? Such a short piece that brings so many questions.
Oh – so sad. I feel for parents in this situation. Very short but it has targeted emotion. Well done
@Eric – so glad you are left asking questions about what led to this. That’s what I was aiming for, trying to capture the moment of disappointment while letting the reader decide just who is to blame here, if anybody. Also, it highlights that the real loser here is the child.
@PJ – Thanks. Was hoping to tug on the heart strings with this one.
At the end you say you hoped we enjoyed it. It’s hard to enjoy a father’s hopes set up and then dashed, especially for something as simple as a child with his child. But it was good work, read well and tight in its mere 30-40 seconds. Thank you for sharing, and I hope you never receive such a call.
Probably a bad choice of words. Seems the exercise brought out the melancholy in those of us writing to the prompt. I meant I hope people enjoy the writing, not the narrator’s plight.
Good reading voice, Dan! Where’s the accent from?
You have packed a lot into here, I like how the story is in what you left out
You’re probably picking up a hint of a Midlands accent. Your comment about the story being in what I left out makes me happy.
Well done, I did indeed enjoy it. Nice delivery.
Oh you have a very cool speaking voice, very easy to listen to, really suits the work. So nice to hear another English accent! Great story, too.
Thanks for the kind words. Like most folk, I don’t much like listening to my voice on recordings. Feel a bit better about it now.
This breaks my heart.
I have friends who experience this same thing month after month, and you nailed the emotion. It’s hard to remain civil, but I appreciate your MC’s restraint from lashing out… but then maybe he does
amazing post, as always
~2
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